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Man Who Unknowingly Dated A Married Woman Shares His Story



"I once dated a married woman for more than one year before finding out she is married. It was her husband who broke the news to me on phone. I was in my 3rd year in the university. It remains one of the most shocking episodes of my life.
The man called one evening. I thought it was a stray call. Do I know any Vicky(not real name), he asked. I asked why he asked. And who he was. He said he was cousin to Vicky Stephen. Do I know her? I said that the profile of the person he described matches the lady I know. But that I dont know Vicky Stephen . That I know Vicky Paul . That he was calling a wrong number. There was silence at the other end.
Not too long, the man called again. He said he needed to tell me the truth. He sounded broken. That the woman I call Vicky Paul is actually Vicky Stephen. That Paul is her father's name. That Stephen is his name. That Vicky is his wife of 5 years and that they have a son togther! The blood of Adam! I almost collapsed. I remember that I had been lying down ,but I sprang up and was pacing the room as he told me this.
I told him he was kidding me. He said no. But that he knows I did not know she was married. That he holds nothing against me. That ,all day, he has been reading all my sms to her since we started dated. That from the messages and the call he has had with me,it is clear to him that I did not know of his wife's marital status. That he will cut the call and when he calls back, he will make her to use her mouth and tell me that she is married.
Wonders shall never end. I collapsed back on bed. I thought I was dreaming. The call took long in coming. It was not easy for the man to bring her on phone to say the words "I am married" to me. Finally, the call came. I heard from the background the man saying "oya ,tell him that you are married". You could know that a lot of beatings had gone on before she agreed(not that I support violence at home for any reason).
Well, she took the phone and spoiled the show. First, she called me by the special name we reserved for each other. Second ,she said : 'he says I should tell you that I am his wife'. Wow! The man hit her at once. You could hear her screams at the background. 
Finally, the man called again after about an hour. He said that from what he gathered from talking with me,I am an intelligent person and respectful. That I should use that intelligence and show him respect by leaving his wife for him. That he still loves his wife. I felt for the man. I treated him with so much respect. There is no apology I did not offer. 
The man even warmed up to me and told me about himself and their marriage. How they met and married. Their traditional wedding. Their white wedding. That he works very hard for the well being of his family. That his work takes him to the high sea sometimes for months before he comes back for one week and leaves again (I have witheld the company name). That sometimes ,when they navigate out of the shores of the country,he can go for 3 months.
But that he ensures that his wife and son have everything while he is away. There are fleets of cars in the compound and she has keys to all of them. One brand new jeep is specifically bought in her name. One of the best salons in their town of residence for her. One of the biggest supermarkets for her in her state of origin( I know this supermarket. Indeed very big. She used to take me there. But she used to passed it off as her parent's).
We ended our conversation on a sombre note. The man said he was leaving to the sea the next morning. That he is not angry with me cos I did not know . But that if I do 'something' with his wife again now that I know,he will find out when he returns. That I should not bother how he will find out. That he will know. And when he knows, he will trace me to wherever I was. And that,in his words, it would be bloody.
Next day, the woman started calling again. It seems as soon as the man left. I was in school that morning. She called and called and called. I only took her call when I got home. She started apologizing. She said she is so sorry and embarrassed for what the man put me through. Can you imagine? Not for what she has done but for what she thinks the man put me through. She said I should not mind the foolish man. Her words. And that I should not bother about the threats that he made. That she knows the man so well. That he can't hurt a fly. That he was bluffing.
My own was to accuse her of plotting to kill me. I told her that she should have told me from the begining that she is married and let me decide whether to go on or not. She said I would have ran away. I said she really wanted to kill me that is why she kept all our texts ,knowing she is married. That I do not wish to see her again.
But she did not give up. She tried for another 3 years. Consistent attempts. I only escaped when I changed my line and accommodation.
Who says women, too ,don't hide their marital status???"

By Aniefiok Udoabasi

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