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Dairy Of A Kokomma The Calabar Girl!!




Hi guys, so we are starting a new column on the blog, it is called 'Dairy Of Kokomma The Calabar Girl'. It is based of true life stories of the writer. It is 100% not fictional. We are not sure what to expect but one thing is sure, you will laugh! We are yet to decide if it's going to be daily of weekly but will do that as time goes on. So sit back and enjoy the read!

                                       Kokomma And The Cele Pastor

There's this very troublesome Cele Apostle or whatever his title is, who lives in the next compound.
For like a month, I had trouble sleeping at night because this man would leave his apartment and come very close to the fence which incidentally isn't very long and faces my room window, then he'd begin to pray loudly from 11; 45pm to the early hours of the morning.

That's the exact time I use to have my quiet time, but had to make it earlier cos it was hard to concentrate with that man shouting prayers at the top of his voice.

I had been thinking of how to call him to order when God answered my prayers through my friend Jumoke Leo-Adeosun.

One particular night last week, I was feeling really testy, our generator won't come on so everyone had to retire early.  Then I remembered Sis Jumoke had written about a method she has used to curb this kind of disturbance. I decided to adopt it. 😂😁😀

I went to my mom's room, explained everything to her  and she decided to help me.

I tied a white wrapper on my chest, she helped tie a red scarve on my head.
I rubbed alot of white powder on my face, neck and chest, then carried the small Calabash we use in preparing isiewu and off I went out to the fence area to await my tormentor.

In less than 5 mins, he came to his normal position and was about to start his prayers when I too started chanting rubbish in my language with the Calabash in my outstretched hands.

He kept quiet at first and tiptoed closer, when he got close enough, the next thing I heard was..
"Eje Jesu oooo, agbara Eje Jesu" (power in the blood of Jesus)

He kept praying and I kept chanting my rubbish. He gave up and ran away screaming .."Oluwa mi" (my God).  And I quickly left for my room. My mom almost died of laughter.

It's been like 5 days now and that man hasn't returned to his prayer spot!

I have chosen to fight my battles this days quietly and with wisdom! !

Laugh your way into the weekend...
#FantasticMorning


@ Vivian Kokoma

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