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Controlling Mother-in-law lets herself into her son's home, wash his wife's undies and rearranges her stuff

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A woman whose mother-in-law is overly intrusive has shared her experience on a parenting forum Mumsnet. The exasperated mom took to the platform in search for help on how to deal with her overbearing in-law.

The British mom who wrote under the identity MaisieAva said her mother-in-law who lives next door to them, lets herself into their home unannounced and washes her clothes including her undies then rearrange her ornaments in a way she deems fit in their absence.

MaisieAva finds her husband's mum's attitude, suffocating and needs help dealing with it. She got lots of advices, with many suggesting she confront the woman. Others outrightly advised her to change her locks.

I rarely talk badly of anyone, so it has really upset me that I have these feelings about my MIL and has made me feel like such a bad person. But the feelings are there and real so I need to express them.So my MIL really stresses me out. What makes matters worse is we live next door to her. When we first moved in, she would walk in un announced and say ‘only me again’. Sometimes if I was on my own it would make me jump and put me on edge. She wanted to clean and tidy the house for some money which I felt I couldn’t say no to, but I’ve had to stop her doing it now. As I just feel like I want to have my own touch on our house. She would do our washing even when she was asked not to. She changed our bed. She put my underwear away in my drawers. She’d walk in when we were winding down in the evening with a pile of our washing all ironed. I mean to some it probably sounds a dream, but it just doesn’t feel right or sit well with me. She would arrange my ornaments to how she thought looked nice. I personally find it dis respectful. Now she’s not cleaning the house anymore it’s obviously a lot better but I feel like she’s using other avenues to get to me. We went on holiday recently and I walked in to our house on our return to see my fairy lights that I’ve decided to keep on a plant all year round on the floor as soon as I walk in. Apparently they were suffocating the plant and the plant needs trimming. I’m sorry but I’m perfectly capable of attending to that myself. It probably sounds really small and pathetic but it really bothers me.I know she’s just trying to help but it’s so suffocating. I’ve spoken to my other half about it so it has got a lot better as I think something must’ve been said. But I feel like I’ve made it into an issue now and I’m fearful of her to be honest and feel like I want to avoid her but at the same time scared to avoid her as I don’t want to cause any upset of offend anyone. I just can’t win. It’s all just literally too close to home for me and it’s consuming my thoughts way too much to the point where I’m feeling pretty unhappy.
I know she won’t change...I was just wondering if anybody had any advice?
Thanks in advance

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